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Learning To Co-Parent

Posted by Collaborative Counseling

Essentials For Effective Co-Parenting

Developing healthy co-parenting practices can be very difficult between two parents where conflicts exist. Co-parenting is something all parents must do, which is learn to parent with someone who has different ideas for how to raise a child. In families of divorce learning to co-parent your child or children can become even more difficult.

It is important that parents work to be as consistent between their two homes as possible. There will of course be different levels of co-parenting in families of divorce. There are a few components to co-parenting that are very important. In the “Good Enough Co-Parenting Model” we work to teach about the four most important areas that parents must learn to be able to talk about. To raise a child between two people, parents must be able to discuss matters related to:

  1. Education
  2. Behaviors
  3. Health
  4. Schedule

Some parents are able to learn to discuss even more areas, but these are the most important areas that parents need to be able to plan and work through in order to raise a child together.

Getting Along

Working to decrease conflict is important in families of divorce. Decreasing conflict is important for many reasons including:

  • The more conflict between parents, the more stressful divorce can be for children.
  • The level of fighting between parents is an indicator of how well a child will adjust to divorce (e.g. less conflict leads to better adjustment for the child).
  • It helps to reduce the amount of “splitting” or “double-lives” children are forced to lead.

While you don’t need to be best friends with your ex, learning to get along and discuss matters related to your children is going to improve the health of your entire family.

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