{"id":283,"date":"2017-09-08T19:56:48","date_gmt":"2017-09-08T19:56:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.collaborativemn.com\/blog\/?p=283"},"modified":"2018-06-08T20:42:00","modified_gmt":"2018-06-08T20:42:00","slug":"communicating-with-your-teen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.collaborativemn.com\/blog\/2017\/09\/08\/communicating-with-your-teen\/","title":{"rendered":"Communicating With Your Teen"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cI can\u2019t take one more minute of this!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDon\u2019t you dare think you can talk to me that way and get away with it!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhy don\u2019t you ever listen to me? Do you think I\u2019m talking to hear myself?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t know why you have to make things so difficult!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Even though we don\u2019t like to admit it, many parents have either said, or heard someone say these things to an upset teenager. We try to tell ourselves that our teens are just making their problems into bigger issues, because things are no different than when we\u00a0were teenagers.<\/p>\n<p>News flash: <strong>things ARE different.<\/strong><\/p>\n<h3>Then vs. Now<\/h3>\n<p>In our day, you didn\u2019t find out that you missed out on a party until Monday when you got to school. Now, teens are posting pictures everywhere, and your child knows immediately that they\u2019ve been left out.<\/p>\n<p>In our day, magazines and movies served as our inspiration for our looks and fashion. Now, kids are inundated with images of supermodels, TV stars, reality TV, social media starlets, and the Instagram, Facebook, or Snapchat feed of kids they try to emulate.<\/p>\n<p>In our day, being bullied meant that someone might knock your books out of your hand, or pass a note about you. Now, private messaging on social media allows for kids to be silently bullied while the whole world watches. And the result of this bullying is that suicide, teen violence and self harm have become more common.<\/p>\n<p>In a world of in your face, up-to-the-minute moments, most of the conversations for many parents and their teens start with, \u201cCould you put your phone down for a second?\u201d. That ever familiar scroll-scroll-scroll of seeing what else is going on makes it hard to connect with your teens. Often, they don\u2019t even know <em>how<\/em>\u00a0to say what they\u2019re thinking, because their thoughts don\u2019t come out in 140 word phrases. Furthermore, they can\u2019t edit, filter, or tag anyone, and they don\u2019t like how messy and uncontrolled an open dialogue can be.<\/p>\n<h3>How to Approach Communicating With Your Teen<\/h3>\n<p>So where do you go? How do you help them? How do you draw them out, so they can share even the smallest things, like how their day was?<\/p>\n<p>As a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.collaborativemn.com\/issues-we-specialize-treating\/parenting\">parent<\/a>, it\u2019s okay to not have all the answers, and to not get where they are coming from. However, offering to listen is the first step. So, if they don\u2019t feel like they can talk to you, offer to find someone they can talk to. This is the best second step you can take. And a counselor can open those lines of communication. We can help them explore who they are, and how their feelings play into their role in the family. If you\u2019re tired of the sadness of being frustrated, now is the time to ask for help.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cI can\u2019t take one more minute of this!\u201d \u201cDon\u2019t you dare think you can talk to me that way and get away with it!\u201d \u201cWhy don\u2019t you ever listen to me? Do you think I\u2019m talking to hear myself?\u201d \u201cI don\u2019t know why you have to make things so difficult!\u201d Even though we don\u2019t like [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":308,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[37,70,17,69,11,13,8,1],"tags":[82,58,103,67,102,18],"class_list":["post-283","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-child-therapist","category-counseling-in-eau-claire-wi","category-counseling-in-hudson-wi","category-counseling-in-lakeville-mn","category-counseling-in-maple-grove-mn","category-family-counseling","category-teen-counseling","category-uncategorized","tag-communication","tag-communication-tips","tag-how-to-communicate-with-your-teen","tag-parenting","tag-parenting-teens","tag-teen-counseling"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Communicating With Your Teen - Collaborative Counseling<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"As a parent, it\u2019s okay to not have all the answers, and to not get where they are coming from. 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