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Divorce can be a very difficult and emotional experience. It can be hard to come to terms with the end of a relationship, and it can be even harder to trust someone else again. But it is possible to move on from a longer term relationship and find happiness again.

Tips for managing after a divorce

Here are some tips on how to have a better outlook on life and learn to trust after divorce:

  • First, allow yourself to grieve. It’s important to allow yourself to feel the pain of divorce. Don’t try to bottle up your emotions or pretend that you’re not hurting. Allow yourself to cry, scream, or do whatever you need to do to express your grief.
  • Talk to someone you trust. Talking to someone you trust can help you to process your emotions and start to heal. This could be a friend, family member, therapist, or anyone else who you feel comfortable talking to.
  • Take care of yourself. It’s important to take care of yourself both physically and emotionally after divorce. Make sure to get enough sleep, eat healthy foods, and exercise regularly. You may also want to consider talking to a therapist or counselor to help you deal with the emotional aspects of divorce.
  • Focus on the positive. It’s important to focus on the positive aspects of your life, even after divorce. Think about all the things you’re grateful for, such as your health, your children, your friends, and your family.
  • Give yourself time. It takes time to heal from divorce. Don’t expect to feel better overnight. Be patient with yourself and give yourself time to adjust to your new life.
  • Don’t be afraid to start over. Divorce can be a new beginning. It’s an opportunity to start fresh and create a life that you love. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and meet new people.

Divorce is a difficult experience, but it is possible to move on and find happiness again. By following these tips, you can start to have a better outlook on life and learn to trust again. It may take time, but it is possible to learn to trust again after divorce. Start by trusting yourself. Once you’ve learned to trust yourself, you can start to trust others. It’s important to remember that not everyone is like your ex-spouse. There are good people out there who will treat you with respect and love.

Here are some additional tips that may help you

  • Set realistic goals for yourself. Don’t expect to be over your divorce overnight. It takes time to heal. Set small goals for yourself, such as going out with friends once a week or reading a book every night before bed.
  • Don’t compare yourself to others. Everyone heals from divorce at their own pace. Don’t compare yourself to friends or family members who seem to be moving on faster than you.
  • Don’t be afraid to ask for help. If you’re struggling to cope with divorce, don’t be afraid to ask for help from a therapist or counselor. They can provide you with support and guidance as you move through this difficult time.
  • See support! You can find support groups in your area by visiting: https://www.meetup.com/find/?source=EVENTS&location=us–mn–Minneapolis

Remember, you are not alone. Millions of people go through divorce every year. It is possible to move on and find happiness again. With time and effort, you can heal from your divorce and create a new life for yourself.

Also, to learn more about counseling services for divorce, please visit: https://www.collaborativemn.com/meet-our-team

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07

How Therapy Strengthens Love

Posted by Collaborative Counseling
love

The Valentine’s Day season is around the corner, and so is the pressure to celebrate it. During this time of year, there is no shortage of candy brands reminding us that the best way to express love is through treats. The fact of the matter is that love is a daily choice that requires much more than chocolate. 

Oftentimes we can get caught up in the overwhelming stress of life’s commitments. Therapy is a tool that helps us process our feelings and open our minds to giving and receiving love, thereby strengthening our relationship with others. 

Therapy teaches us to love ourselves with…

Compassion

Maybe you’re familiar with the phrase “You are your own worst critic”. 

Unfortunately, this phrase holds more truth than we want to believe. Psychology Today’s article discusses the negative impact that self-criticism can have on our mental health. Therapy creates a safe space where we can process the internal disapproval that we allow ourselves to be burdened with. By reducing some of these burdens, we can free our minds to make room for more positive mindfulness and self-love. 

Recognition

When we’ve learned to exercise compassion, there will then be space for recognition. The thought of having to be mindful and vulnerable is scary, but breaking down our internal barriers empowers us to see our strengths. All too often, we do not give ourselves enough credit for the good qualities that we have. We have a tendency to break ourselves down, instead of building ourselves up. By doing the opposite, and recognizing our strengths, we can master the art of loving who we are. 

Development

One way we can learn to love ourselves is by taking steps to help us meet our potential. Therapy creates a safe space where we can discover what we need to grow. This can be hard to do, as sometimes we are forced to acknowledge parts of ourselves that we hope not to. But, by managing bad habits or negative mindsets, we can develop into the thriving person we hope to be.

Therapy teaches us to love others with…

Communication

Communication is an important part of every relationship. If you google synonyms for “communication” you might find words like “give” or “deliver”. Very rarely do we equivocate communication with “receiving”. It’s important to remember that communication between two people goes both ways. While this practice requires speaking with calm tones and kind words, it also requires active listening. Therapy not only teaches us the techniques to be heard, but also the ability to hear others. This can be hard to put into practice, but, when done correctly, allows us to build a greater connection. 

If you’re looking for active ways that you can practice better communication with your partner, check out our blog on 10 Communication Tips for Couples

Recognition

When we interact with others, we tend to get caught up in the moment. It’s easy to forget that the other person has a different perspective from our own. Therapy teaches us to take a step back and recognize the kinds of burdens that others might be carrying. Check out Psychology Today’s article on the 5 Ways Empathy is Good for Your Health. By practicing empathy, we will find that we can build stronger connections with others. 

Compassion

Just like we should work to be less critical of ourselves, therapy helps us to be less critical of each other. It can be hard to let go of the things that hurt us, but the practice of compassion can help us move forward. Therapy creates a safe environment where we can learn this skill, together, and strengthen our connections.

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24

Types of Licensure

Posted by Collaborative Counseling

This article shares about types of licensure so you can understand the difference in types of therapists. There are several ways that one can pursue education in order to become a therapist. Understanding the differences in each licensure will help you understand how your therapist, or potential therapist is trained.

Here we will outline some of the most common licensures that our therapists have here at Collaborative Counseling.

Masters Degree

Above all else, a masters degree is required before obtaining licensure. Therapists can received a masters degree in many areas of study. These include psychology, social work, counseling, mental health counseling, marriage and family therapy, and many more.

It typically takes two years to complete a masters program. And requires completion of a four year degree.

Once a masters degree is obtained and before one can take the state or professional exam, several steps of provisional licensure and supervised counseling take place. When an applicate completes and passes this exam, they are a licensed therapist.

In the U.S., requirements for becoming a therapist are determined by state. As a result, the requirements vary depending where you live.

Types of licensure
Types of Licensure

Here are general descriptions and requirements of different licensure.

Licensed Psychologist (PhD, PsyD, or EdD)

Generally, you will need a doctoral degree to practice as a licensed psychologist. Doctorate programs are often the highest level of education in most fields. They take around four years to complete, after completing a bachelors degree. These psychologists have the ability to do psychological testing. In general, other licensed professionals cannot.

Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC)

Licensed Professional Counselors are masters level mental health providers. They require:

  • A minimum of 700 hours of supervised field experience in graduate school
  • Depending upon degree, 2,000-3,000 hours of post-graduate clinical supervision hours
  • Passing the credentialing exam

These professionals can work in a variety of settings, including communities and private practice. LPC’s work with individuals, families, couples and groups.

In Minnesota, LPC is not a common licensure, but Wisconsin uses these requirements for LPC’s.

Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor (LPCC)

Licensed Professional Clinical Counselors are also masters level professionals that have a masters degree in counseling or another related field. Some requirements for these counselors include:

  • an additional 2,000 post graduate supervision hours for licensure compared to LPC’s, for a total of 4,000 hours.
  • passing the credentialing exam

This is a more common licensure in Minnesota because this is the license insurance companies will reimburse.

LPCC providers can work in a variety of settings including private practice, residential facilities, community based agencies, schools and more! This licensure level is trained to offer therapy to individuals, couples, families, and groups.

Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker (LICSW)

A Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker is within the field of Social Work. These training programs focus on therapy from a perspective of the community that surrounds oneself.

To become a LICSW:

  • First, one must get their masters in social work (MSW)
  • After that you work towards licensure via clinical experience in and after graduate school.
  • After schooling comes a post graduate school experience. During this time social workers are supervised by a fully licensed person before receiving their own independent licensure.
  • Then they must take the state licensing exam.

Also, another variation of LICSW’s is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW). This includes minor changes in requirements from state to state. For example, LCSW’s practice in Wisconsin, while LICSW’s practice in Minnesota.

A big benefit of this type of license is the type of insurance that LICSW’s and LCSW’s can accept. For example, they are able to accept Medicare if they choose to, while other licensed professionals do not have the option to accept this due to Medicare guidelines.

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT)

Licensed Marriage and Family therapists are another sub-sect of mental health providers that offer services to couples, families, and individuals. While LMFT’s do tend to work more in family and relationship settings, this is not the only population LMFT’s can work with.

Marriage and family graduate programs focus more on the family systems and relationships surrounding one’s life. This training informs and impacts the way LMFT’s approach therapy.

These therapists require:

  • 4,000 hours of post graduate supervised experience
  • Passing the national MFT exam.

LMFT’s can also work in private practice, community settings or residential facilities.

Licensed Alcohol and Drug Counselor (LADC)

Licensed Alcohol and Drug Counselors are master level professionals. They require:

  • Completion of 880 hours of supervised experience during the alcohol and drug graduate program
  • Candidates must pass the licensing exam

Having a variety of training programs for counseling helps keep our field diverse. It also helps provide a variety of specialties in our field. The vast array of services that are offered come from the differences in licensure. Providers with different licensure often focus their practice in certain specialties based on their degree and license.

However, a provider’s specific area of expertise could vary. It is best to schedule an appointment or meet a therapist personally to see if they are the best fit for you. We hope it helped to learn about the types of licensure of our providers.

For more information, call our office today to see who is available and may be a good fit for you! To learn more about our providers visit our website at https://www.collaborativemn.com/meet-our-team.

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13

Six ways to reduce anxiety

Posted by Collaborative Counseling

According to the ADAA, anxiety disorders affect 40 million American adults every year. In addition, we are living in a very anxious time with all that is happening with COVID-19. While it is common to experience anxiety on a daily basis, there are also small steps to take to reduce the anxiety in our lives.

Here are six simple ways to fight the stress in your life.

1. Meditation and breathing

There are many ways to engage in mindful breathing and meditation, but one way in particular is yoga practice.  Yoga helps you connect your mind and body. According to one study, researchers found that yoga practice shows a decrease in anxious and depressive symptoms in a variety of populations. 

2. Grounding

This is a technique that connects you to the present moment. Use the 3-3-3 rule in time of anxiousness. Name 3 things you see, 3 things you hear and move 3 body parts. Doing this will bring you back to the present moment and help you focus on what is happening around you.

3. Put stress in perspective

Take a step back and view your stress as part of a bigger picture. Try to maintain a positive attitude, and keep doing your best with the situation in front of you. Laugh often!

4. Food and drink

Limit alcohol consumption and stick to healthy, well-balanced meals. Avoid skipping meals, plan ahead and always have a healthy snack option on hand.

5. Reframe

Rethink your thoughts and fears. Often times when we are anxious, we think of worst-case scenarios. Each time a worry comes into your mind, reframe the thought and speak what you know is true about the situation. 

6. Practice saying no

Saying no to requests that others ask of you isn’t always selfish. By saying no to some things, you allow yourself to give more time and energy to the tasks that are already on your plate.

For some people, it can be very difficult to turn other’s requests down. To find more information about when and how to say no, check out this resource: https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/stress-relief/art-20044494  

These techniques can be a small step in reducing the anxiety in your life. If you or someone you know is looking to set up an appointment with a counselor, our therapists at Collaborative Counseling are open to scheduling new clients through the Telehealth platform, so don’t hesitate to reach out today.

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25

How to Live Your Best Life: Tips for Quarantine

Posted by Collaborative Counseling

We know that this is a stressful and overwhelming time in everyone’s life and we believe that setting aside some time for yourself helps you so you can help others around you. We have compiled a list of resources and tips for quarantine to help you make the most of this time quarantined at home.

Here are 8 ways you can make a small change in your daily life to live your best quarantined life:

1. Get up and move!

Many athletic and fitness clubs are offering free resources, so be sure to look around for tools to get moving and boost your immunity. For example, LifeTime Fitness is offering free on-demand exercise videos: https://my.lifetime.life/lp/video-workouts/strength.html. You can always go on a walk around your neighborhood to get some fresh air!

2. Internet

If you need access to internet, Comcast is offering 2 months of free internet to low-income households. The deadline to apply is April 30. https://internetessentials.com/covid19

3. Breathe

Diaphragmatic breathing, also known as belly breathing, helps give you a basis for meditation and also has many health benefits, such as lowering blood pressure and heart rate. Take some time today to consciously breathe and re-center yourself.

4. Meditation and mindfulness

In addition to deep breathing, there are several resources that can help you take a step back and relax. Calm.com, Headspace.com and VirusAnxiety.com provide tips to reduce anxiety and bring awareness to your breath.

5. Set screen time limits

It is easy to lose track of time when you are home all day. Most phones offer settings that allow you to set a limit of time for social media and overall screen time. Setting these boundaries can help you stay productive throughout your day.

6. Healthy eating

Food choices can make a huge difference in your life. Do your research, plan your meals, and make sure you are getting enough vegetables and fruits. Here are some ideas for immune boosting foods: https://www.pcrm.org/news/blog/foods-boost-immune-system

7. Learn something new

Take a break from your home office and tour hundreds of museums—virtually! Google is offering tours of many museums, and you can find more information here: https://artsandculture.google.com/partner?hl=en

8. Working from home tips

There are many tips and tricks to make working from home a great experience for you, and NPR outlines some of them here: https://www.npr.org/2020/03/15/815549926/8-tips-to-make-working-from-home-work-for-you

In addition to these at-home tips and tricks, Telehealth or online therapy is a beneficial tool that is accessible from your computer or smart device.

Our providers at Collaborative Counseling are set up to provide Telehealth services that can help you navigate this unprecedented time. Accessing therapy from the comfort and privacy of your own home or space is a great way to stay connected and our providers would be happy to help you. Make sure to check back for more tips for quarantine life!

Call our office today to get scheduled at 763-210-9966!

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02

The Power of Validation

Posted by Collaborative Counseling
Happiness

Validation is a powerful tool that can be implemented in almost every relationship we have. According to Karyn Hall, PhD: “Validation is the recognition and acceptance of another person’s thoughts, feelings, sensations, and behaviors as understandable. Self-validation is the recognition and acceptance of your own thoughts, feelings, sensations and behaviors as understandable.”

Why Do We Need Validation?

Validation is important for us to feel accepted by others. As most of us can attest to, feeling like you belong and matter is an important part of  feeling good about yourself. When we validate others, it brings us closer and strengthens the relationship. Additionally, validation helps us to build understanding with others and aids in effective communication. Validation also helps people feel important and cared for. This is especially true for kids who need validation to feel connected to their parents, express emotions and to develop a secure sense of self.

Levels of Validation

Marsha Linehan, PhD, has identified six different levels of validation and some tips on how to implement them.

  1. Being Present: giving your complete attention to the person struggling in a non-judgmental way
  2. Accurate Reflection: Summarize what the person has said, try to really understand and not judge the person’s experience
  3. Reading someone’s behavior and guessing what they may be thinking or feeling: pay attention to the person’s emotional state and label their emotion or infer how they may be feeling. Be sure to check in with the person to make sure your guess is accurate!
  4. Understanding someone’s behavior in terms of their history and biology: think about how someone’s past experiences may be affecting how they are feeling now, in this moment or situation.
  5. Normalizing or recognizing emotional reactions that anyone would have: recognize that many people may feel the way that you or the other person is feeling in a given situation and let them know that it’s okay to feel this way as many people do.
  6. Radical genuineness: this happens when you are able to understand how someone is feeling on a deeper, personal level. Perhaps, you have had a similar experience. Sharing that with the other person can help to validate their feelings and reactions.

Putting Words Into Action

Learning to validate others can be easier said than done. However, being more conscience of how our words affect others and even implementing the first few levels of validation can make a big difference in our relationships and interactions with others. An essential tenant of the therapeutic relationship is validation. It is important to know that we must first be able to validate ourselves before being able to validate others. Therapy can help you to achieve self-validation skills as well as learning skills to validate others. For more information about our clinicians and how they can help, visit: https://www.collaborativemn.com/meet-our-team.

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20

How to Cope With Holiday Stress

Posted by Collaborative Counseling
Woman Stressed about the Holidays

While the holidays can bring plenty of joy, for many people it can be a very stressful time of year. Almost a quarter of American’s report feeling “extreme stress” around the holiday season. Even if you are not someone who experiences a great amount of stress around this time of year, here are some coping skills you can use yourself or share with others who may be struggling with the stress of the holiday season.

Let Go of Expectations

We often become fixated on our expectations and become upset when reality does not match those expectations, especially when it comes to the holidays and traditions. Remember that things may not go perfectly or exactly as planned but that is not what really matters. The holidays are an opportunity to surround ourselves with friends and family and to share in experiences that bring us closer together.

Be Present and Mindful

The holidays are obviously a very busy and fast-paced time of year for many people. While it can be easy to fall into this pattern of go, go, go, be mindful of when you are experiencing stress or anxiety and when it may be time to take a break. Around this time of year, we tend to be focused on the needs of others and let our own needs fall by the wayside. It is important to make time for self-care, whatever that means for you.

Set Boundaries

Know your limits and know when to say “no” to things. Stress and anxiety can often arise from taking on too much at once. Part of good self-care is knowing when you have reached your capacity and setting boundaries around the use of your time (including who you spend time with and when). Know that you do not have to attend every holiday event you are invited to or spend time with people who do not make you feel your best.

Maintain Your Routine

With the holidays come plenty of fun events and delicious treats to enjoy. However, trying to maintain most of your daily routine can help greatly when it comes to coping with stress. Exercise, diet and sleep are key components to both mental and physical health. Most people do not get enough sleep and holiday stress can exacerbate that problem. Taking a daily walk, setting a “bed-time” for yourself and/or starting your day with a healthy breakfast can help you to feel and stay on track and maintain healthy habits during a time when schedules tend to fluctuate.

The holidays don’t have to be a time of extreme stress! Try to focus on the things that fill you up rather than the things that drain you. Spend more time doing things and spending time with the people who lift you up and make you feel your best. Most of all, remember that the holidays are what you make them, no more and no less.

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26

How To Help Someone Struggling With Thoughts of Suicide

Posted by Collaborative Counseling
Woman Stressed about the Holidays

According to the CDC, more than 38,000 Americans commit suicide each year. While we often think of suicide in relation to teens or the younger population, middle-aged males make up the majority of suicides in the U.S.

Suicide can be the result of any number of issues that someone is facing. However, an estimated 90% of people who committed suicide were suffering from substance abuse issues or a mental illness such as depression, bipolar disorder or PTSD. Suicide can be the tragic answer that some turn to when they feel they have no other options.

Warning Signs

Suicide can be difficult to prevent. However, if you are aware of the warning signs you may be able to help a person who is struggling. Some warning signs of suicide are:

  • Talking about wanting to die
  • Talking about feeling trapped or being a burden to others
  • Increased alcohol or drug use
  • Isolating from family and friends
  • Depression
  • Loss of interest or withdrawing from activities

Keep in mind this is not a complete list of the warning signs of suicide. Therefore, if you suspect that someone you care about may be contemplating suicide, read on to find out what you can do to help them.

What to do if you suspect someone may be suicidal

  • Be open to talking with them and listening to what they have to say.
  • Try not to discredit their feelings or minimize their problems. Focus on validating them for how they feel.
  • Let someone else know.
  • If the person doesn’t seem to be in immediate danger: encourage them to seek help from a mental health professional or doctor.
  • If the person seems to be in immediate danger: stay with them and contact a suicide prevention resource or accompany them to the emergency room or to mental health services.

Furthermore, if you or someone you know think they may be suffering from a mental illness, it is key to begin treatment as soon as possible. As a result, this can help to prevent the symptoms from worsening and lessen the likelihood of them resorting to suicide.

Resources For Suicide

Some additional resources that may be helpful for someone who is thinking about suicide or someone looking to help are:

Those who are suicidal often times will not reach out for help. Sometimes the simplest things like letting someone know that you are there for them can give them the hope they need to open up to someone and potentially save their life.

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30

What fills you up?

Posted by Collaborative Counseling
Drinking Tea and Taking Time to Relax

In life there are so many things that zap our energy.  As a result, we become so busy just trying to get things done that we end up forgetting to fill up the engine. Here I am speaking of doing things that give you energy, instead of take it away.  What fills you up?

Often, we forget to take time to take care of ourselves when there is so much to be done to take care of everyone and everything else. Today I am challenging you to think about what you can do to fill yourself up with energy.

Mental Energy Enhancers

  • Reading a book or listening to a book on tape
  • Spending time with friends and family who are positive
  • Managing your money well
  • Keeping your home, office and care neat and clean
  • Face old conflict and find ways to resolve them
  • Be aware not to become overscheduled; leave some breathing room and do not overbook yourself

Physical Energy Enhancers

  • Nutritious diet
  • Doing things at your own pace rather than how someone else dictates them
  • Relaxation activities (such as yoga, meditation, massage)
  • A warm bath
  • Lay in the sun for 10-15 minutes
  • Hugs

Spiritual Energy Enhancers

  • Say only what you believe to be the truth (speak your truth without blame or judgment)
  • Do each thing with love
  • Practice being grateful
  • Focus on what you have instead of what you do not
  • Spend time in nature
  • Listen to and follow your inner guidance
  • Say no to things that go against your beliefs

As a result, there are many ways for you to refuel your energy levels to help support you in living a vibrant life. If you want help learning to figure out ‘what fills you up?’, consider seeking council.

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09

What unique gift or talent do you bring to the world?

Posted by Collaborative Counseling
unique gifts

Deep within us all exist unique gifts or talents needed by the world around us. Often we can get stuck in patterns of negativity, unhealthy relationships, a bad job or other things that take away from our talents. Sometimes we may not even know we have lost sight of our talents or maybe they have never been discovered…

Often we have found that when people take time to reflect upon their values and beliefs they are more likely to discover some unique talents about themselves.  Here are some questions that could help you begin to explore your values and beliefs:

Have you asked yourself?

  • What are you energized by?
  • Do you know your personal strengths? (One good tool to help you uncover your strengths is StrengthsFinder 2.0)
  • What is the most important to you in life?  What are the top 10 things? How about the top 5? Or the number one most important thing?
  • Are there things that that you enjoy doing at your current job? What don’t you enjoy?
  • If you could do anything with your life, what would you do? What would be fulfilling about that?
  • Is anything else missing from your life?

While, you may find yourself wondering “what are my talents?” or “I don’t have anything unique to offer the world”, these exist within all of us. Your talent may be your ability to observe beauty around you or it may be your ability to be a good listener to others. Any talent or skill has a way to make the world a better place. Therefore, I encourage you to challenge those thoughts and seek ways to begin uncovering your uniqueness.

In addition, sometimes a person’s values and beliefs are strongly tied to their unique gifts and talents. If you are still struggling to uncover your unique talent, seek a professional counselor or coach to help you to reveal your inner beauty.

As a result, in uncovering your unique talents, you can become able to make choices that will allow you to share your full potential while, making the world a brighter place.

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