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07

How Therapy Strengthens Love

Posted by Collaborative Counseling
love

The Valentine’s Day season is around the corner, and so is the pressure to celebrate it. During this time of year, there is no shortage of candy brands reminding us that the best way to express love is through treats. The fact of the matter is that love is a daily choice that requires much more than chocolate. 

Oftentimes we can get caught up in the overwhelming stress of life’s commitments. Therapy is a tool that helps us process our feelings and open our minds to giving and receiving love, thereby strengthening our relationship with others. 

Therapy teaches us to love ourselves with…

Compassion

Maybe you’re familiar with the phrase “You are your own worst critic”. 

Unfortunately, this phrase holds more truth than we want to believe. Psychology Today’s article discusses the negative impact that self-criticism can have on our mental health. Therapy creates a safe space where we can process the internal disapproval that we allow ourselves to be burdened with. By reducing some of these burdens, we can free our minds to make room for more positive mindfulness and self-love. 

Recognition

When we’ve learned to exercise compassion, there will then be space for recognition. The thought of having to be mindful and vulnerable is scary, but breaking down our internal barriers empowers us to see our strengths. All too often, we do not give ourselves enough credit for the good qualities that we have. We have a tendency to break ourselves down, instead of building ourselves up. By doing the opposite, and recognizing our strengths, we can master the art of loving who we are. 

Development

One way we can learn to love ourselves is by taking steps to help us meet our potential. Therapy creates a safe space where we can discover what we need to grow. This can be hard to do, as sometimes we are forced to acknowledge parts of ourselves that we hope not to. But, by managing bad habits or negative mindsets, we can develop into the thriving person we hope to be.

Therapy teaches us to love others with…

Communication

Communication is an important part of every relationship. If you google synonyms for “communication” you might find words like “give” or “deliver”. Very rarely do we equivocate communication with “receiving”. It’s important to remember that communication between two people goes both ways. While this practice requires speaking with calm tones and kind words, it also requires active listening. Therapy not only teaches us the techniques to be heard, but also the ability to hear others. This can be hard to put into practice, but, when done correctly, allows us to build a greater connection. 

If you’re looking for active ways that you can practice better communication with your partner, check out our blog on 10 Communication Tips for Couples

Recognition

When we interact with others, we tend to get caught up in the moment. It’s easy to forget that the other person has a different perspective from our own. Therapy teaches us to take a step back and recognize the kinds of burdens that others might be carrying. Check out Psychology Today’s article on the 5 Ways Empathy is Good for Your Health. By practicing empathy, we will find that we can build stronger connections with others. 

Compassion

Just like we should work to be less critical of ourselves, therapy helps us to be less critical of each other. It can be hard to let go of the things that hurt us, but the practice of compassion can help us move forward. Therapy creates a safe environment where we can learn this skill, together, and strengthen our connections.

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13

Six ways to reduce anxiety

Posted by Collaborative Counseling

According to the ADAA, anxiety disorders affect 40 million American adults every year. In addition, we are living in a very anxious time with all that is happening with COVID-19. While it is common to experience anxiety on a daily basis, there are also small steps to take to reduce the anxiety in our lives.

Here are six simple ways to fight the stress in your life.

1. Meditation and breathing

There are many ways to engage in mindful breathing and meditation, but one way in particular is yoga practice.  Yoga helps you connect your mind and body. According to one study, researchers found that yoga practice shows a decrease in anxious and depressive symptoms in a variety of populations. 

2. Grounding

This is a technique that connects you to the present moment. Use the 3-3-3 rule in time of anxiousness. Name 3 things you see, 3 things you hear and move 3 body parts. Doing this will bring you back to the present moment and help you focus on what is happening around you.

3. Put stress in perspective

Take a step back and view your stress as part of a bigger picture. Try to maintain a positive attitude, and keep doing your best with the situation in front of you. Laugh often!

4. Food and drink

Limit alcohol consumption and stick to healthy, well-balanced meals. Avoid skipping meals, plan ahead and always have a healthy snack option on hand.

5. Reframe

Rethink your thoughts and fears. Often times when we are anxious, we think of worst-case scenarios. Each time a worry comes into your mind, reframe the thought and speak what you know is true about the situation. 

6. Practice saying no

Saying no to requests that others ask of you isn’t always selfish. By saying no to some things, you allow yourself to give more time and energy to the tasks that are already on your plate.

For some people, it can be very difficult to turn other’s requests down. To find more information about when and how to say no, check out this resource: https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/stress-relief/art-20044494  

These techniques can be a small step in reducing the anxiety in your life. If you or someone you know is looking to set up an appointment with a counselor, our therapists at Collaborative Counseling are open to scheduling new clients through the Telehealth platform, so don’t hesitate to reach out today.

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08

Trauma Informed Therapy

Posted by Collaborative Counseling
Individual Therapy for PTSD Treatment

If you are beginning your search for therapy, it can be hard to know where to start. It can be overwhelming to understand the types of therapy that are offered by therapists, and which one might be a good fit for you. Here we will cover the basics of trauma informed therapy and how this type of therapy may be helpful for you.

What is trauma?

Trauma is any distressing experience. Anyone can deal with trauma and we can experience trauma in varying degrees. 

Karen Onderko, the Director of Research and Education at Integrated Listening Systems describes different levels of trauma through large “t” and little “t” trauma. 

We often ignore or disregard little trauma, because these are things that do not completely disrupt our daily life. As Onderko puts it, small “t” trauma “seem(s) surmountable”. Life changes, relationship conflict or financial troubles can be trauma. The internalization of these events may be interpreted differently for everyone, so for some, they may not be as distressing.

On the other hand, large trauma sends us into deep distress or helplessness. These tend to be larger experiences, including things like traumatic events or ongoing stressors, such as emotional or physical abuse.  These are things that most people think of when they hear the word, “trauma”.

It’s important to acknowledge and understand that we can all experience trauma in many different forms and at different levels. Everyone internalizes life events differently.

What does trauma informed therapy mean?

Trauma informed therapy aims to understand how trauma affects one’s life. This type of therapy is a type of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) which sees to identify our thoughts about how we view our current life situation or issue. CBT helps us learn how to change the way we view or think of ourselves.

Trauma informed therapy helps us process events that have happened in our past, how that may be triggering to us, and the effect it may take in our life.

How can it help?

The effectiveness of therapy increases when we discuss and recognize our trauma. It searches to identify and understand the root of our pain or anxiety, and then helps us understand ourselves from that perspective. 

This type of therapy is beneficial to anyone who experiences trauma—large or small. Through these traumas, we can see how that may influence our behavior. Understanding our behavior from this perspective may also help us grow into healthier behaviors sooner.

Overall, trauma informed therapy may be a good option for therapy for some, but there are plenty of types of therapy that are beneficial to those seeking help.

To find a list of therapy types, click here.

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14

How to create a healthy work environment from home

Posted by Collaborative Counseling
unique gifts

If you are making the transition to work at home, it can be difficult to navigate working and living in the same place. It is helpful to make small changes that will make your work-at-home experience a positive one.

Here are a few things you can do to create a healthy work environment:

1. Designate an office space for yourself

Set up an office area with reliable connectivity and the essentials. Then add some color or décor to make it an enjoyable place to spend your day. Face a window or add some green!

2. Keep a routine

Set a routine that will help you start your day off on the right foot. Do you look forward to your morning coffee? Get up a few minutes earlier, find a sunny seat in your house and enjoy a few quiet moments. Plan out your meals and move and take stretch breaks throughout the day. 

Small things like this can set your day on the right track! 

3. Give your eyes a break

Blink often, wear blue-light glasses, adjust your monitor and take eye breaks. Use the 20-20-20 rule by looking at something 20 yards away for at least 20 seconds, every 20 minutes.

4. Dress the part

It is easy to wear lounge clothes while working from home, but challenge yourself to act like you are getting ready to head into the office. Doing this helps to create a more professional work environment, limits distraction and promotes productivity!

5. Plan for times out of the office

Whether this is a walk around the neighborhood, or doing something productive around the house on your break, make sure you have a moment to step away from your desk.

Woman Practicing Being Present and Mindful
Take a moment each day to spend time outside or in the sun.

Take a small step today to create a warm and welcoming work environment from home!

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07
Understanding PTSD Through Individual Counseling Services

We live in a day and age where technology can be consuming, but during this time of “social distancing” there are many ways that we can use technology to stay connected from a distance.

You can use apps such as Google Hangouts, FaceTime, Facebook Messenger, Skype, Zoom, and Houseparty to connect with family and friends!

1. Share with friends

Reach out to friends and family and keep them updated on how you are doing with all of your time spent at home. Share what books you are reading, shows you are watching, or small things you have accomplished throughout the day. 

2. Snail mail

Go old school, find a pen pal and write them a letter. Document what you are experiencing in this time of quarantine, then you will have these letters to look back on in years to come.

3. Virtual game night

Looking for something to do with friends while all staying in your own homes? Virtual game night! You can play charades, Heads Up, Pictionary, Drawful and many other games with a group of friends or family all through a video chat platform.

4. Cook-off

Share your favorite recipe with friends, and make each other’s favorite dishes. Video chat your meal with each other and share how your meal turned out!

Make it a little more exciting by leading your friends in a “follow-along” recipe night, and teach them how to make your favorite dish while they follow along in their own kitchen.

5. Create a virtual event

Make a Facebook event and invite some friends to join you for a virtual party. Create a virtual spa night, or “host” video game tournaments with friends. Plan to all watch the same movie or documentary together and discuss it after!

We all know that actually engaging with others face-to-face is the best type of interaction, but talking through these technological platforms allow us to stay connected in any situation.

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25

How to Live Your Best Life: Tips for Quarantine

Posted by Collaborative Counseling

We know that this is a stressful and overwhelming time in everyone’s life and we believe that setting aside some time for yourself helps you so you can help others around you. We have compiled a list of resources and tips for quarantine to help you make the most of this time quarantined at home.

Here are 8 ways you can make a small change in your daily life to live your best quarantined life:

1. Get up and move!

Many athletic and fitness clubs are offering free resources, so be sure to look around for tools to get moving and boost your immunity. For example, LifeTime Fitness is offering free on-demand exercise videos: https://my.lifetime.life/lp/video-workouts/strength.html. You can always go on a walk around your neighborhood to get some fresh air!

2. Internet

If you need access to internet, Comcast is offering 2 months of free internet to low-income households. The deadline to apply is April 30. https://internetessentials.com/covid19

3. Breathe

Diaphragmatic breathing, also known as belly breathing, helps give you a basis for meditation and also has many health benefits, such as lowering blood pressure and heart rate. Take some time today to consciously breathe and re-center yourself.

4. Meditation and mindfulness

In addition to deep breathing, there are several resources that can help you take a step back and relax. Calm.com, Headspace.com and VirusAnxiety.com provide tips to reduce anxiety and bring awareness to your breath.

5. Set screen time limits

It is easy to lose track of time when you are home all day. Most phones offer settings that allow you to set a limit of time for social media and overall screen time. Setting these boundaries can help you stay productive throughout your day.

6. Healthy eating

Food choices can make a huge difference in your life. Do your research, plan your meals, and make sure you are getting enough vegetables and fruits. Here are some ideas for immune boosting foods: https://www.pcrm.org/news/blog/foods-boost-immune-system

7. Learn something new

Take a break from your home office and tour hundreds of museums—virtually! Google is offering tours of many museums, and you can find more information here: https://artsandculture.google.com/partner?hl=en

8. Working from home tips

There are many tips and tricks to make working from home a great experience for you, and NPR outlines some of them here: https://www.npr.org/2020/03/15/815549926/8-tips-to-make-working-from-home-work-for-you

In addition to these at-home tips and tricks, Telehealth or online therapy is a beneficial tool that is accessible from your computer or smart device.

Our providers at Collaborative Counseling are set up to provide Telehealth services that can help you navigate this unprecedented time. Accessing therapy from the comfort and privacy of your own home or space is a great way to stay connected and our providers would be happy to help you. Make sure to check back for more tips for quarantine life!

Call our office today to get scheduled at 763-210-9966!

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02

The Power of Validation

Posted by Collaborative Counseling
Happiness

Validation is a powerful tool that can be implemented in almost every relationship we have. According to Karyn Hall, PhD: “Validation is the recognition and acceptance of another person’s thoughts, feelings, sensations, and behaviors as understandable. Self-validation is the recognition and acceptance of your own thoughts, feelings, sensations and behaviors as understandable.”

Why Do We Need Validation?

Validation is important for us to feel accepted by others. As most of us can attest to, feeling like you belong and matter is an important part of  feeling good about yourself. When we validate others, it brings us closer and strengthens the relationship. Additionally, validation helps us to build understanding with others and aids in effective communication. Validation also helps people feel important and cared for. This is especially true for kids who need validation to feel connected to their parents, express emotions and to develop a secure sense of self.

Levels of Validation

Marsha Linehan, PhD, has identified six different levels of validation and some tips on how to implement them.

  1. Being Present: giving your complete attention to the person struggling in a non-judgmental way
  2. Accurate Reflection: Summarize what the person has said, try to really understand and not judge the person’s experience
  3. Reading someone’s behavior and guessing what they may be thinking or feeling: pay attention to the person’s emotional state and label their emotion or infer how they may be feeling. Be sure to check in with the person to make sure your guess is accurate!
  4. Understanding someone’s behavior in terms of their history and biology: think about how someone’s past experiences may be affecting how they are feeling now, in this moment or situation.
  5. Normalizing or recognizing emotional reactions that anyone would have: recognize that many people may feel the way that you or the other person is feeling in a given situation and let them know that it’s okay to feel this way as many people do.
  6. Radical genuineness: this happens when you are able to understand how someone is feeling on a deeper, personal level. Perhaps, you have had a similar experience. Sharing that with the other person can help to validate their feelings and reactions.

Putting Words Into Action

Learning to validate others can be easier said than done. However, being more conscience of how our words affect others and even implementing the first few levels of validation can make a big difference in our relationships and interactions with others. An essential tenant of the therapeutic relationship is validation. It is important to know that we must first be able to validate ourselves before being able to validate others. Therapy can help you to achieve self-validation skills as well as learning skills to validate others. For more information about our clinicians and how they can help, visit: https://www.collaborativemn.com/meet-our-team.

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20

How to Cope With Holiday Stress

Posted by Collaborative Counseling
Woman Stressed about the Holidays

While the holidays can bring plenty of joy, for many people it can be a very stressful time of year. Almost a quarter of American’s report feeling “extreme stress” around the holiday season. Even if you are not someone who experiences a great amount of stress around this time of year, here are some coping skills you can use yourself or share with others who may be struggling with the stress of the holiday season.

Let Go of Expectations

We often become fixated on our expectations and become upset when reality does not match those expectations, especially when it comes to the holidays and traditions. Remember that things may not go perfectly or exactly as planned but that is not what really matters. The holidays are an opportunity to surround ourselves with friends and family and to share in experiences that bring us closer together.

Be Present and Mindful

The holidays are obviously a very busy and fast-paced time of year for many people. While it can be easy to fall into this pattern of go, go, go, be mindful of when you are experiencing stress or anxiety and when it may be time to take a break. Around this time of year, we tend to be focused on the needs of others and let our own needs fall by the wayside. It is important to make time for self-care, whatever that means for you.

Set Boundaries

Know your limits and know when to say “no” to things. Stress and anxiety can often arise from taking on too much at once. Part of good self-care is knowing when you have reached your capacity and setting boundaries around the use of your time (including who you spend time with and when). Know that you do not have to attend every holiday event you are invited to or spend time with people who do not make you feel your best.

Maintain Your Routine

With the holidays come plenty of fun events and delicious treats to enjoy. However, trying to maintain most of your daily routine can help greatly when it comes to coping with stress. Exercise, diet and sleep are key components to both mental and physical health. Most people do not get enough sleep and holiday stress can exacerbate that problem. Taking a daily walk, setting a “bed-time” for yourself and/or starting your day with a healthy breakfast can help you to feel and stay on track and maintain healthy habits during a time when schedules tend to fluctuate.

The holidays don’t have to be a time of extreme stress! Try to focus on the things that fill you up rather than the things that drain you. Spend more time doing things and spending time with the people who lift you up and make you feel your best. Most of all, remember that the holidays are what you make them, no more and no less.

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13

Understanding Depression

Posted by Collaborative Counseling
Growing Plant Symbolizing Hope for Depression

There is a common misconception that depression is a choice. The truth is that depression is a common yet serious mood disorder that has to do with a chemical imbalance in the brain. People experience depression in a number of ways and symptoms can range from mild to severe. Depression can affect how someone feels and thinks as well their daily activities such as work and sleeping. There are a variety of factors that can put someone at-risk for developing depression such as:

  • Genetics: Depression can be hereditary and runs in families.
  • Environmental Factors: exposure to neglect, abuse and violence can be risk factors for depression.
  • Personality: Traits such as low self-esteem and being easily overwhelmed by stress can make people more vulnerable to depression.
  • Gender: Women are more likely than men to develop depression.

It should be noted that depression can look different for everyone. Some common symptoms of depression include.

  • Difficulty sleeping or sleeping too much
  • Loss of interest in hobbies/activities
  • Appetite or weight changes
  • Feeling hopeless
  • Trouble concentrating
  • Irritability

Treatments for Depression

There are several therapeutic treatment options for depression. Therapies such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), mindfulness-based CBT and dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) have all been shown to help reduce depressive symptoms and increasing coping skills.

Many courses of treatment for depression will include medications such as anti-depressants in combination with psychotherapy to treat depression. Remember, no two people are alike and therefore, neither are their treatments. What worked for one person may not work for you.

Additionally, activities such as yoga and exercise in general as well as meditation and healthy eating can all have an impact on our overall mood and help to decrease depressive symptoms.

If you are struggling with depression the first step is reaching out for help. Visit our website at: https://www.collaborativemn.com/  to learn more about the services we offer and the people who can help.

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07

What Kinds of Therapy Can Help Treat PTSD?

Posted by Collaborative Counseling
Individual Therapy for PTSD Treatment

PTSD, like other diagnoses, has many treatments that can be effective for a broad array of individuals. Here, we will discuss some of the most popular and effective treatments for PTSD.

Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

TF-CBT specifically targets children and adolescents. It can also be helpful for adults who have suffered trauma. TF-CBT is especially helpful for youth who have experienced abuse, violence or grief resulting in PTSD. This is a short-term therapy that generally lasts anywhere between 8-25 sessions. TF-CBT works to change distorted or negative reactions and behaviors. Additionally, family dynamics are emphasized in this approach as therapists aim to teach parenting, stress management and communication skills that can help the client succeed.

EMDR

EMDR stands for Eye-Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It helps the brain to reprocess the memories of the traumatic event. In turn, this helps to relieve many of the symptoms associated with PTSD and improve a person’s overall functioning. EMDR is different than traditional talk therapy. It identifies specific memories to target, so the client fully process past experiences and the feelings associated with the memory. Eventually, the goal is to replace negative thoughts and feelings with more positive ones that promote healthy behaviors.

Narrative Therapy

 Narrative therapy focuses on the story that someone who has experienced trauma, tells themselves. The story told to oneself can influence how that person perceives the world and their experiences and ultimately, their well-being. NT requires the client to tell the story of their life (chronologically) focusing on the traumatic event(s) or experience(s). The therapist asks the client to narrate the traumatic experience(s) and describe their emotions, thoughts and physiological responses to the therapist, all while remining connected to the present. This therapy asks a person to reflect on their entire life which means it can address multiple traumatic incidents. In the end it can help the client realize their human rights and gain back their self-respect.

Prolonged Exposure

Prolonged exposure therapy is a part of cognitive behavioral therapy (or CBT). Many individuals who have experienced trauma actively avoid anything that reminds them of said trauma.

This intervention works to teach whose individuals to confront their trauma-related memories, feelings and situations. In turn, this decreases the symptoms of PTSD by teaching the individual that their memories and feelings surrounding their trauma are not dangerous and do not need to be avoided. This is also a short-term therapy lasting anywhere from 8-15 sessions and gradually challenges the individual to confront uncomfortable stimuli and cope with the emotions associated with the stimuli.

It is important to keep in mind that there are a wide variety of therapies that may be able to help you or someone you know deal with their trauma. The best place to start is to find someone you feel comfortable with that can help you work through what you are dealing with. A great deal of research indicates the benefit of therapy is strongly correlated to the relationship a person has with their therapist, so finding someone that you connect to is very important. Visit our website to learn more about our team and how they can help you move forward at: https://www.collaborativemn.com/meet-our-team.

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