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  3. How To Give Feedback To A Family Member: A Delicate Balance
21

How to Give Feedback to a Family Member: A Delicate Balance

Posted by Collaborative Counseling

Giving feedback to a family member can be a tricky task. It’s a delicate balance between honesty and maintaining relationships. But with the right approach, it can lead to stronger bonds and personal growth. Here are some tips to help you navigate this sensitive situation:

Choose the Right Time and Place

  • Timing is everything: Avoid giving feedback when someone is stressed, tired, or hungry.
  • Privacy is key: Choose a private setting where you won’t be interrupted.

Focus on Behavior, Not Personality

  • Be specific: Instead of generalizing, provide concrete examples of the behavior that bothers you.
  • Use “I” statements: This helps to avoid blaming and defensiveness. For instance, say “I feel hurt when…” instead of “You always…”.

Express Your Feelings Clearly

  • Be honest: Share your genuine feelings without being accusatory.
  • Use “and” instead of “but”: This helps to soften the blow. For example, “I appreciate your help with the chores, and I would like to discuss how we can improve our communication about them.”

Listen Actively

  • Give them a chance to speak: Allow your family member to share their perspective.
  • Empathize: Try to understand their point of view.

Offer Solutions

  • Be constructive: Suggest ways to improve the situation.
  • Focus on the future: Avoid dwelling on past mistakes.

Maintain Open Communication

  • Encourage dialogue: Let your family member know you’re open to further discussion.
  • Be patient: Change takes time.

Remember: The goal of giving feedback is to improve the relationship, not to win an argument. Approach the conversation with empathy and a willingness to compromise.

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06

How to Give Feedback to a Family Member: A Delicate Balance

Posted by Collaborative Counseling

How to Give Feedback to a Family Member: A Delicate Balance

Giving feedback to a family member can be a tricky task. It’s a delicate balance between honesty and maintaining relationships. But with the right approach, it can lead to stronger bonds and personal growth. Here are some tips to help you navigate this sensitive situation:

Choose the Right Time and Place

  • Timing is everything: Avoid giving feedback when someone is stressed, tired, or hungry.
  • Privacy is key: Choose a private setting where you won’t be interrupted.

Focus on Behavior, Not Personality

  • Be specific: Instead of generalizing, provide concrete examples of the behavior that bothers you.
  • Use “I” statements: This helps to avoid blaming and defensiveness. For instance, say “I feel hurt when…” instead of “You always…”.

Express Your Feelings Clearly

  • Be honest: Share your genuine feelings without being accusatory.
  • Use “and” instead of “but”: This helps to soften the blow. For example, “I appreciate your help with the chores, and I would like to discuss how we can improve our communication about them.”

Listen Actively

  • Give them a chance to speak: Allow your family member to share their perspective.
  • Empathize: Try to understand their point of view.

Offer Solutions

  • Be constructive: Suggest ways to improve the situation.
  • Focus on the future: Avoid dwelling on past mistakes.

Maintain Open Communication

  • Encourage dialogue: Let your family member know you’re open to further discussion.
  • Be patient: Change takes time.

Remember: The goal of giving feedback is to improve the relationship, not to win an argument. Approach the conversation with empathy and a willingness to compromise.

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05

Separation Anxiety and School

Posted by Collaborative Counseling
Mother and Child Walking Counting Their Blessings

What is Separation Anxiety?

Separation anxiety is a normal fear that children have about leaving their parents and/or caregivers. Typically, it peaks in toddlers around 14-18 months. It can continue into early childhood, especially in new or unfamiliar environments.

Tips to Ease Separation Anxiety at School

Starting school can be exciting and scary for kids at the same time. They’re ready to assert their independence and be a “big kid” while still valuing their parents attention and companionship. There are a few things you can do to help your child make the transition into being a student.

  • Spend time with your child at their school and/or classroom before their first day. If you can, spend time with your child’s teacher so that they are familiar with them and their new environment on the first day.
  • Have your child bring a comfort item, such as a blanket, stuffed animal or anything else that helps them feel safe. Over time, you can work on phasing the item out of their routine.
  • Keep your goodbye brief, dragging it out can make leaving worse.
  • Let your child know that you’re leaving and when you will be back and avoid “sneaking out”.
  • Keep a relaxed, happy look on your face. A worried or sad expression can signal to the child that the place you are leaving them is not safe and could cause them to become upset too.

Working on Separation Anxiety at Home

If your child is experiencing separation anxiety, there are some things you can do at home to help. Reading a book or telling a story about separation can be helpful for children to not feel alone in their fear. Work on building your child’s self-esteem with praise and positive attention. Although separation anxiety can be stressful, try to avoid being negative about your child’s issues with separation. This can create guilt and shame around the child’s feelings of fear.

Remember that this is a common experience for many children. With patience and encouragement, you can help your child work through their fears and become happy, confident school-goers.

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20

What Leads People to Cutting?

Posted by Collaborative Counseling
How to help your child who is a victim of bullying

Research estimates that 80% of cutters and those who self harm are trying to regain their emotional balance. There are a couple of factors commonly seen in those who cut:

1) They tend to be more sensitive and emotionally reactive.

2) They often feel invalidated by their environment.

Let’s break these two apart to make them more understandable.

Sensitive and Emotionally Reactive

People who cut seem to be more sensitive than others and they tend to have much stronger reactions to the feelings they experience. They also seem to take longer to recover from strong emotions than most. Others will often describe them as a “drama queen”, “overemotional” or “overly sensitive”. This strong emotional reaction makes them vulnerable to acting in a way that is either impulsive or can be desperate to soothe him or herself.

Invalidated by the Environment

This means they do not feel understood or heard. Validation involves using empathy to make sure the other person feels heard and understood. To validate, we accept the other person’s experience as they state it without judging or helping problem solve. Often with emotionally reactive people we can get reactive ourselves instead of  trying to make them feel better or helping them to solve the problem.

These two factors combined will often leave the person struggling to find a way to feel in control, particularly of strong negative emotions. Cutting thus becomes a tool to manage painful emotions because it soothes just as drugs and alcohol can.

For more information on how to help someone who cuts, visit http://collaborativemn.com/dialectical-behavior-therapy/

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28

What is play therapy? Learn more here!

Posted by Collaborative Counseling
Child working on art as Play Therapy

What is play therapy? Play therapy is an interactive form of counseling. It that allows children to express themselves. Children express their thoughts, feelings and struggles through play. Adults and teens are often able to understand and express themselves through talk therapy. Children, on the other hand, often have not yet developed the skills to process difficult situations and feelings through traditional talk therapy.

In therapy children are allowed the freedom to express themselves in a therapeutic setting. Play therapy is nonjudgmental and safe. Often children will act out whatever is bothering them through metaphors within their play. Play therapy may involve individual sessions with just the child. It may also include other family members (siblings, parents, etc…). Family therapy is frequently a part of therapy with children as well.

Also, play therapy can include activities such as art, playing board games or playing with dolls. Therapists use the normal ways children play to help them process feelings.

In addition, this therapy also involves a component that includes parents. Parents often can help the child to develop better emotion regulation, positive self esteem and much more. The involvement of parents in a child’s therapy will vary depending upon the presenting concern but may include the following:

  • Parenting skills sessions
  • Family therapy
  • Interaction therapy to improve the parent-child relationship
  • Homework for parents to help the child with as they develop new skills.

For more information about play therapy services in your area, check out: https://www.collaborativemn.com/counseling-services/play-therapy

 

 

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25

Introducing Collaborative’s New Website!

Posted by Collaborative Counseling

Check out Collaborative Counseling’s brand new website! Our new site layout features responsive design and interactive content for a customized user experience on smartphones, tablets, laptops and desktops of any screen size. We are based in Maple Grove, Minnesota; Lakeville, Minnesota; Eau Claire, WI; and Hudson, Wisconsin. Collaborative Counseling provides comprehensive therapy services for all ages. Our skilled and compassionate therapists specialize in a wide range of therapeutic services.

Our main areas of service include:

(more…)

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