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05

Separation Anxiety and School

Posted by Collaborative Counseling
Mother and Child Walking Counting Their Blessings

What is Separation Anxiety?

Separation anxiety is a normal fear that children have about leaving their parents and/or caregivers. Typically, it peaks in toddlers around 14-18 months. It can continue into early childhood, especially in new or unfamiliar environments.

Tips to Ease Separation Anxiety at School

Starting school can be exciting and scary for kids at the same time. They’re ready to assert their independence and be a “big kid” while still valuing their parents attention and companionship. There are a few things you can do to help your child make the transition into being a student.

  • Spend time with your child at their school and/or classroom before their first day. If you can, spend time with your child’s teacher so that they are familiar with them and their new environment on the first day.
  • Have your child bring a comfort item, such as a blanket, stuffed animal or anything else that helps them feel safe. Over time, you can work on phasing the item out of their routine.
  • Keep your goodbye brief, dragging it out can make leaving worse.
  • Let your child know that you’re leaving and when you will be back and avoid “sneaking out”.
  • Keep a relaxed, happy look on your face. A worried or sad expression can signal to the child that the place you are leaving them is not safe and could cause them to become upset too.

Working on Separation Anxiety at Home

If your child is experiencing separation anxiety, there are some things you can do at home to help. Reading a book or telling a story about separation can be helpful for children to not feel alone in their fear. Work on building your child’s self-esteem with praise and positive attention. Although separation anxiety can be stressful, try to avoid being negative about your child’s issues with separation. This can create guilt and shame around the child’s feelings of fear.

Remember that this is a common experience for many children. With patience and encouragement, you can help your child work through their fears and become happy, confident school-goers.

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How to help your child who is a victim of bullying

Depression and anxiety are common mental health problems that can affect children and adolescents. If your child is struggling with these conditions, it is important to communicate with them in a way that is supportive and understanding.

Here are some tips for communicating with your child who suffers from depression and anxiety:

  • First, Be patient and understanding. It is important to remember that your child is not choosing to feel this way. Depression and anxiety are real medical conditions that can be very difficult to deal with. Be patient with your child and try to understand what they are going through.
  • Second, Create a safe space for communication. Let your child know that they can talk to you about anything, without judgment. Make sure they feel comfortable coming to you with their thoughts and feelings.
  • Third, Avoid blaming or shaming. It is important to avoid blaming or shaming your child for their depression or anxiety. These conditions are not caused by anything your child has done wrong.
  • Last, Encourage your child to seek professional help. If your child is struggling with depression or anxiety, it is important to encourage them to seek professional help. A therapist can help your child develop coping mechanisms and strategies for managing their symptoms.

In addition to these general tips, there are a few specific things you can do to communicate with your child about their depression or anxiety:

  • Ask open-ended questions. When you are talking to your child about their depression or anxiety, try to ask open-ended questions. This will help you get a better understanding of how they are feeling and what they are going through.
  • Listen actively. When your child is talking to you, it is important to listen actively. This means paying attention to what they are saying, without interrupting or judging them.
  • Validate their feelings. Let your child know that their feelings are valid. This doesn’t mean that you have to agree with everything they say, but it does mean that you respect their right to feel the way they do.
  • Offer support. Let your child know that you are there for them and that you will support them through whatever they are going through.

Communicating with your child about their depression or anxiety can be challenging, but it is important to remember that you are not alone. There are many resources available to help you and your child cope with these conditions. With time and support, your child can overcome depression and anxiety and live a healthy and happy life.

Here are some additional resources that may be helpful:

  • The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): NAMI is a national organization that provides support and resources to people with mental illness and their families. You can find more information on their website at www.nami.org.
  • The Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA): ADAA is a national organization that provides information and resources on anxiety and depression. You can find more information on their website at www.adaa.org.
  • The National Child Traumatic Stress Network (NCTSN): NCTSN is a national network of organizations that provide support and resources to children who have experienced trauma. You can find more information on their website at www.nctsn.org.
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13

Six ways to reduce anxiety

Posted by Collaborative Counseling

According to the ADAA, anxiety disorders affect 40 million American adults every year. In addition, we are living in a very anxious time with all that is happening with COVID-19. While it is common to experience anxiety on a daily basis, there are also small steps to take to reduce the anxiety in our lives.

Here are six simple ways to fight the stress in your life.

1. Meditation and breathing

There are many ways to engage in mindful breathing and meditation, but one way in particular is yoga practice.  Yoga helps you connect your mind and body. According to one study, researchers found that yoga practice shows a decrease in anxious and depressive symptoms in a variety of populations. 

2. Grounding

This is a technique that connects you to the present moment. Use the 3-3-3 rule in time of anxiousness. Name 3 things you see, 3 things you hear and move 3 body parts. Doing this will bring you back to the present moment and help you focus on what is happening around you.

3. Put stress in perspective

Take a step back and view your stress as part of a bigger picture. Try to maintain a positive attitude, and keep doing your best with the situation in front of you. Laugh often!

4. Food and drink

Limit alcohol consumption and stick to healthy, well-balanced meals. Avoid skipping meals, plan ahead and always have a healthy snack option on hand.

5. Reframe

Rethink your thoughts and fears. Often times when we are anxious, we think of worst-case scenarios. Each time a worry comes into your mind, reframe the thought and speak what you know is true about the situation. 

6. Practice saying no

Saying no to requests that others ask of you isn’t always selfish. By saying no to some things, you allow yourself to give more time and energy to the tasks that are already on your plate.

For some people, it can be very difficult to turn other’s requests down. To find more information about when and how to say no, check out this resource: https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/stress-relief/art-20044494  

These techniques can be a small step in reducing the anxiety in your life. If you or someone you know is looking to set up an appointment with a counselor, our therapists at Collaborative Counseling are open to scheduling new clients through the Telehealth platform, so don’t hesitate to reach out today.

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25

How to Live Your Best Life: Tips for Quarantine

Posted by Collaborative Counseling

We know that this is a stressful and overwhelming time in everyone’s life and we believe that setting aside some time for yourself helps you so you can help others around you. We have compiled a list of resources and tips for quarantine to help you make the most of this time quarantined at home.

Here are 8 ways you can make a small change in your daily life to live your best quarantined life:

1. Get up and move!

Many athletic and fitness clubs are offering free resources, so be sure to look around for tools to get moving and boost your immunity. For example, LifeTime Fitness is offering free on-demand exercise videos: https://my.lifetime.life/lp/video-workouts/strength.html. You can always go on a walk around your neighborhood to get some fresh air!

2. Internet

If you need access to internet, Comcast is offering 2 months of free internet to low-income households. The deadline to apply is April 30. https://internetessentials.com/covid19

3. Breathe

Diaphragmatic breathing, also known as belly breathing, helps give you a basis for meditation and also has many health benefits, such as lowering blood pressure and heart rate. Take some time today to consciously breathe and re-center yourself.

4. Meditation and mindfulness

In addition to deep breathing, there are several resources that can help you take a step back and relax. Calm.com, Headspace.com and VirusAnxiety.com provide tips to reduce anxiety and bring awareness to your breath.

5. Set screen time limits

It is easy to lose track of time when you are home all day. Most phones offer settings that allow you to set a limit of time for social media and overall screen time. Setting these boundaries can help you stay productive throughout your day.

6. Healthy eating

Food choices can make a huge difference in your life. Do your research, plan your meals, and make sure you are getting enough vegetables and fruits. Here are some ideas for immune boosting foods: https://www.pcrm.org/news/blog/foods-boost-immune-system

7. Learn something new

Take a break from your home office and tour hundreds of museums—virtually! Google is offering tours of many museums, and you can find more information here: https://artsandculture.google.com/partner?hl=en

8. Working from home tips

There are many tips and tricks to make working from home a great experience for you, and NPR outlines some of them here: https://www.npr.org/2020/03/15/815549926/8-tips-to-make-working-from-home-work-for-you

In addition to these at-home tips and tricks, Telehealth or online therapy is a beneficial tool that is accessible from your computer or smart device.

Our providers at Collaborative Counseling are set up to provide Telehealth services that can help you navigate this unprecedented time. Accessing therapy from the comfort and privacy of your own home or space is a great way to stay connected and our providers would be happy to help you. Make sure to check back for more tips for quarantine life!

Call our office today to get scheduled at 763-210-9966!

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10

Tips for Going Back to School

Posted by Collaborative Counseling

Getting ready for and going back to school can be a very stressful time. Following the slower pace of summer, many struggle to get back into the mind frame to focus on learning and schoolwork.

Here are our favorite tips for parents to help prepare for the transition into a new school year.

Practice Getting Back on a Schedule

Take the week or two leading up to the first day to transition back to your school-year schedule and routines. In addition, work to get you and your kids back on the usual sleep schedule for school.

Take Care of Any Health Needs

If your child needs a physical, check up or needs medication refills make sure to follow up with appropriate health care providers. Also, try to be proactive in getting help for both physical and mental health needs your child may have going into this next school year.

Get Oriented

If your child is going to start in a new school this year spend time getting familiar with the space. Practice finding their classrooms, restrooms, the office or nurse and any other areas they need to be familiar with. The best way to ease anxiety about this first day of school is to help your child feel as prepared as possible.

Be Prepared for the First Day

To decrease the stress of the first day help or remind your child to pack their bag. Also, have them pick their outfit the day before. In addition, make sure to have healthy breakfast and snack foods available for your child.

All of these tips are aimed at helping your child to be successful on their first day of school. Anything you can do to decrease the stress and anxiety of the first day of school is recommended. Remember, anxiety is often just about the unknowns. Therefore, the more of those you can decrease the better off your child will be. Most of all, we want to send kids into the school year focusing on academics and of course, friendships!

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27

Be Open to Outcome, Not Attached to It

Posted by Collaborative Counseling
Open to outcome

Reflect for a Moment

Do you often find yourself wanting to be in control? Do you end up in a job or relationship for too long because you really want things to work out, even though it causes you unhappiness? Have you ever found yourself continually trying to make something work that just clearly isn’t working? If you answered yes or maybe to any of these questions, this article holds a critical lesson.

Be Open to Outcome, Not Attached to Outcome

This lesson is embedded in the practices of Buddhism. This tends to be a very difficult way of life for people of Western cultures. One of the biggest obstacles is our sense of security in believing things will work out the way we want them to. It seems as though this is a common illusion we often have. A Yiddish proverb tells us “We plan, god laughs.”

Being attached to outcome has many negative consequences as well. If you are attached to an outcome you won’t hear things that are inconsistent with the way you want things to be. In addition, you may end up with unnecessary unhappiness trying to make something work that no matter what you do just isn’t going to work.

Begin paying attention in your own life to whether you are being attached or open to outcome. Furthermore, observe yourself with open-minded curiosity. It is always good to hope for the best. However, it is never wise to expect the best. Remember: be open to outcome, not attached to outcome.

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