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18

Teens and Self Harm

Posted by Collaborative Counseling
How to help your child who is a victim of bullying

Being A Teen Today

Teenage years are a very volatile and unpredictable time in a person’s life. They are too old to be considered children but still too young and immature to be considered adults. Frankly many parents are not fundamentally aware of the inherent distinction between the two stages, nor do they realise that the progression from child to adulthood is gradual. At this stage of life their hormones begin to go haywire as they prepare to cruise into adulthood. Often things such as peer pressure, bullying, disagreements, abuse and just plain ignorance can derail this delicate progression for teens.

At this stage of life teens require lots of understanding and patience. Teen counseling is very important to ensure that the chosen path into adulthood is navigated effectively. So many things can derail their progress that it’s a constant battle to make sure your words don’t fall on deaf ears. When teens find themselves in untenable situations sometimes they resort to self harm.

What Does Self Harm Look Like?

Self harm may include taking legal and illegal drugs, cutting themselves or engaging in high risk activities. Self harm can be a coping mechanism for dealing with pain, disappointment, neglect or abuse. When a teen is self harming it is very seldom that they will share this information with parents or guardians. This is when you know the situation has become indefensible and has pushed that teen to this extreme. Teens usually cut themselves in places that will not be easily visible like the arm and upper thighs that can be covered by long sleeves and pants.

How To Help Your Teen

It is paramount these at-risk teens get counseling before their actions lead to a more serious situation like them seriously or permanently hurting themselves or others. Listening is the most important step when counseling teens. Most often teens will continue to self harm when they feel that parents are judgemental and hypocritical towards them or lay blame squarely on their shoulders for any and all situations.

Reassuring your teen that help is available and things can improve is important. Some teens engaging in self harm feel a sense of hopelessness about things getting better and you want to reassure them that things can get better. Teens need to know someone is listening and that they have an outlet to air their frustrations and disappointment. They also need to know that there is always a different side, a better side to every situation.

To learn more about our services for teens visit: https://www.collaborativemn.com/counseling-services/teen-counseling

 

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06

Childhood Depression

Posted by Collaborative Counseling

Childhood depression is much more common that you may know. According to the U.S. Center for Mental Health Services, as many as one in every 33 children and one in eight adolescents may have clinical depression.

What is depression?

Clinical depression is sadness that extends beyond being sad about particular situations or events (e.g. being sad about a breakup or sad about the death of a loved one). In addition, Clinical depression involves a prolonged sense of feeling sad that gets in the way of doing things the person wants to do.

Signs of depression in children

  • Sadness and hopelessness for weeks at a time
  • Withdrawal from friends and/or activities they used to enjoy
  • Irritability or being easily agitated
  • Missing school or a significant decline in grades
  • Changes in eating
  • Changes in sleeping habits
  • Low confidence/self-esteem
  • Thoughts of death or suicide
  • Lack of energy and motivation
  • Difficulty making decisions
  • Forgetfulness
  • Difficulty concentrating

Help is available for a child or teen with depression

Collaborative Counseling provides specialized therapy services for children as young as age 3 up through adulthood. Our services are available in:

We provide play therapy for young and school age children. This has been shown to be effective in helping children overcome depression. To learn more about play therapy visit: http://collaborativemn.com/play-therapy/

Also, for older children and teens we provide a variety of different ways to help your child learn the skills they need. They can learn how to cope with their emotions, relationships and everyday challenges of our modern world. While counseling with children often involves a family component.  Furthermore, family counseling can help parents and other family members learn how to support the person who is struggling with depression.

What should you do if your child is exhibiting depression symptoms?

First of all, if you suspect your child is struggling with depression, get them help immediately. Therefore, we recommend bringing your child in to talk with a counselor or psychologist to clarify the symptoms as soon as possible. The counselor or psychologist will be able to provide you recommendations for treatment to help your child through their depression as well as any other areas of concern.

Finally, if  you are not quite ready to see a counselor or therapist, we recommend sharing your concerns with your child’s pediatrician or primary care physician. Most general practice clinics can also help assess whether your child may be suffering from depression or another emotional health issue.

 

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18

11 Tips for Accepting Criticism

Posted by Collaborative Counseling

11 Tips for Accepting Criticism

 Accepting criticism from others can be a very difficult thing. Accepting criticism can help you improve communication. Here are some tips for how to make criticism productive because we are bound to make mistakes. The key to our mistakes is to be able to learn from them and find a way to become better in the future.

So lets begin reviewing our 11 tips for how to accept criticism:

First, accept that you are not perfect. If you begin each task thinking that nothing will go wrong, you’re fooling yourself. You will make mistakes. The important thing is to learn from them.

Second, double-check your work. After you’ve finished, and before you submit it to your supervisor, be sure you’ve gone over everything carefully. This can help you to avoid silly mistakes and ensure that your boss won’t have to bother you about minor problems.

Don’t take it personally. If your co-worker has criticism for you, remind yourself that it doesn’t necessarily mean s/he doesn’t like you, or that you’re not good enough for the job. Your co-worker is simply trying to ensure that you do the best work possible.

Then, listen carefully. If you ignore critical comments, you’re doomed to repeat the same mistakes. Take notes and continually remind yourself how to fix the problem. This step is the most difficult, as it can mean that one must “suck up” one’s pride and admit one’s responsibility in one’s work-related errors.

Another helpful tip is to ask yourself what can you learn from this criticism. If you feel yourself growing defensive or getting angry, repeat the question ‘What can I learn?’

Now agree with part of the criticism. When faced with criticism, most people focus on the part of the negative feedback that may not be true and ignore the rest. This doesn’t solve any problems, and you don’t learn anything. When you agree with one part of the criticism, you become open to learning. You don’t have to agree with everything; even agreeing with one small aspect of the criticism will create an atmosphere of teamwork. The focus then can become how you’ll work together to solve a problem, which will lessen your feeling of being attacked.

Now you must analyze and evaluate what you’ve heard. You need time to process the information, determine if it’s a valid criticism and decide what you’ll do to solve the problem or correct the mistake. If this is a complaint you’ve heard repeatedly, you should think about what you can learn from the situation so it doesn’t happen again.

In addition, don’t hold a grudge. Staying angry/upset about criticism can affect your future work. Put the mistakes out of your mind and focus on doing the best job possible on the next task.

Make sure to clear the air. If you’re upset with how your co-worker criticized you, let him or her know as soon as possible, so there are no lingering bad feelings between the two of you. Explain why it upset you, and suggest changes that could be made to strengthen your relationship.

Accept the fact that others may see something that you don’t. Even if you don’t agree with the criticism, others may be seeing something that you are not even aware of. If people say that you are negative or overbearing, and you don’t feel that you are, well; maybe you are and you just don’t see it. Allow for the fact that others may be right, and use that possibility to look within your self.

And last, be happy whatever the criticism and do not let the criticism bring you down. It may be that the co-worker has problems at home and is just venting his anger off you as an outlet. Be glad you have at least helped him or her.

Improving your ability to take criticism can help your relationships, so even though it’s hard we hope you give these tips a try.

Adapted from a handout, source unknown.

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13

What are the Different Types of Therapies You Offer?

Posted by Collaborative Counseling

It is important as a consumer to know what different types of therapies are available. There are many different theories our therapists pull from to make sure to target the concerns you bring to therapy. We encourage you to talk with your therapist about your treatment and to ask questions about what therapeutic approach is being taken. Below is some information on commonly used therapeutic approaches:

Cognitive Therapy

First, lets learn about cognitive therapy. Cognitive therapies focus on changing one’s attitude, perceptions and perspectives towards both oneself and situations to healthier and more positive ones. Many people develop cognitive distortions that require examination. Examples of cognitive distortions include: mind reading, over generalizing, exaggeration or minimization, self-fulfilling prophecies and more.

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