Collaborative Counseling

26 July

How To Help Someone Struggling With Thoughts of Suicide

Posted by Collaborative Counseling

Ways to help when a loved one loses a pet and resources

According to the CDC, more than 38,000 Americans commit suicide each year. While we often think of suicide in relation to teens or the younger population, middle-aged males make up the majority of suicides in the U.S.

Suicide can be the result of any number of issues that someone is facing. However, an estimated 90% of people who committed suicide were suffering from substance abuse issues or a mental illness such as depression, bipolar disorder or PTSD. Suicide can be the tragic answer that some turn to when they feel they have no other options.

Warning Signs

Suicide can be difficult to prevent. However, if you are aware of the warning signs you may be able to help a person who is struggling. Some warning signs of suicide are:

Talking about wanting to die
Talking about feeling trapped or being a burden to others
Increased alcohol or drug use
Isolating from family and friends
Depression
Loss of interest or withdrawing from activities

Keep in mind this is not a complete list of the warning signs of suicide. Therefore, if you suspect that someone you care about may be contemplating suicide, read on to find out what you can do to help them.

What to do if you suspect someone may be suicidal

Be open to talking with them and listening to what they have to say.
Try not to discredit their feelings or minimize their problems. Focus on validating them for how they feel.
Let someone else know.
If the person doesn’t seem to be in immediate danger: encourage them to seek help from a mental health professional or doctor.
If the person seems to be in immediate danger: stay with them and contact a suicide prevention resource or accompany them to the emergency room or to mental health services.

Furthermore, if you or someone you know think they may be suffering from a mental illness, it is key to begin treatment as soon as possible. As a result, this can help to prevent the symptoms from worsening and lessen the likelihood of them resorting to suicide.

Resources For Suicide

Some additional resources that may be helpful for someone who is thinking about suicide or someone looking to help are:

Those who are suicidal often times will not reach out for help. Sometimes the simplest things like letting someone know that you are there for them can give them the hope they need to open up to someone and potentially save their life.

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18 July

Teens and Self Harm

Posted by Collaborative Counseling

How to help your child who is a victim of bullying

Being A Teen Today

Teenage years are a very volatile and unpredictable time in a person’s life. They are too old to be considered children but still too young and immature to be considered adults. Frankly many parents are not fundamentally aware of the inherent distinction between the two stages, nor do they realise that the progression from child to adulthood is gradual. At this stage of life their hormones begin to go haywire as they prepare to cruise into adulthood. Often things such as peer pressure, bullying, disagreements, abuse and just plain ignorance can derail this delicate progression for teens.

At this stage of life teens require lots of understanding and patience. Teen counseling is very important to ensure that the chosen path into adulthood is navigated effectively. So many things can derail their progress that it’s a constant battle to make sure your words don’t fall on deaf ears. When teens find themselves in untenable situations sometimes they resort to self harm.

What Does Self Harm Look Like?

Self harm may include taking legal and illegal drugs, cutting themselves or engaging in high risk activities. Self harm can be a coping mechanism for dealing with pain, disappointment, neglect or abuse. When a teen is self harming it is very seldom that they will share this information with parents or guardians. This is when you know the situation has become indefensible and has pushed that teen to this extreme. Teens usually cut themselves in places that will not be easily visible like the arm and upper thighs that can be covered by long sleeves and pants.

How To Help Your Teen

It is paramount these at-risk teens get counseling before their actions lead to a more serious situation like them seriously or permanently hurting themselves or others. Listening is the most important step when counseling teens. Most often teens will continue to self harm when they feel that parents are judgemental and hypocritical towards them or lay blame squarely on their shoulders for any and all situations.

Reassuring your teen that help is available and things can improve is important. Some teens engaging in self harm feel a sense of hopelessness about things getting better and you want to reassure them that things can get better. Teens need to know someone is listening and that they have an outlet to air their frustrations and disappointment. They also need to know that there is always a different side, a better side to every situation.

To learn more about our services for teens visit: https://www.collaborativemn.com/counseling-services/teen-counseling

communication, Coping Skills, dbt, depression, Drug Use, Emotional Regulation, High-Risk Behavior, How to help your teen, Self-Harm, Teen Depression, Teen Stress, teen struggles

06 July

Childhood Depression

Posted by Collaborative Counseling

Childhood depression is much more common that you may know. According to the U.S. Center for Mental Health Services, as many as one in every 33 children and one in eight adolescents may have clinical depression.

What is depression?

Clinical depression is sadness that extends beyond being sad about particular situations or events (e.g. being sad about a breakup or sad about the death of a loved one). In addition, Clinical depression involves a prolonged sense of feeling sad that gets in the way of doing things the person wants to do.

Signs of depression in children

Sadness and hopelessness for weeks at a time
Withdrawal from friends and/or activities they used to enjoy
Irritability or being easily agitated
Missing school or a significant decline in grades
Changes in eating
Changes in sleeping habits
Low confidence/self-esteem
Thoughts of death or suicide
Lack of energy and motivation
Difficulty making decisions
Forgetfulness
Difficulty concentrating

Help is available for a child or teen with depression

Collaborative Counseling provides specialized therapy services for children as young as age 3 up through adulthood. Our services are available in:

We provide play therapy for young and school age children. This has been shown to be effective in helping children overcome depression. To learn more about play therapy visit: http://collaborativemn.com/play-therapy/

Also, for older children and teens we provide a variety of different ways to help your child learn the skills they need. They can learn how to cope with their emotions, relationships and everyday challenges of our modern world. While counseling with children often involves a family component. Furthermore, family counseling can help parents and other family members learn how to support the person who is struggling with depression.

What should you do if your child is exhibiting depression symptoms?

First of all, if you suspect your child is struggling with depression, get them help immediately. Therefore, we recommend bringing your child in to talk with a counselor or psychologist to clarify the symptoms as soon as possible. The counselor or psychologist will be able to provide you recommendations for treatment to help your child through their depression as well as any other areas of concern.

Finally, if you are not quite ready to see a counselor or therapist, we recommend sharing your concerns with your child’s pediatrician or primary care physician. Most general practice clinics can also help assess whether your child may be suffering from depression or another emotional health issue.

#childhooddepression, #collaborativecounseling, #therapyforchildren

30 June

What fills you up?

Posted by Collaborative Counseling

In life there are so many things that zap our energy. As a result, we become so busy just trying to get things done that we end up forgetting to fill up the engine. Here I am speaking of doing things that give you energy, instead of take it away. What fills you up?

Often, we forget to take time to take care of ourselves when there is so much to be done to take care of everyone and everything else. Today I am challenging you to think about what you can do to fill yourself up with energy.

Mental Energy Enhancers

Reading a book or listening to a book on tape
Spending time with friends and family who are positive
Managing your money well
Keeping your home, office and care neat and clean
Face old conflict and find ways to resolve them
Be aware not to become overscheduled; leave some breathing room and do not overbook yourself

Physical Energy Enhancers

Nutritious diet
Doing things at your own pace rather than how someone else dictates them
Relaxation activities (such as yoga, meditation, massage)
A warm bath
Lay in the sun for 10-15 minutes
Hugs

Spiritual Energy Enhancers

Say only what you believe to be the truth (speak your truth without blame or judgment)
Do each thing with love
Practice being grateful
Focus on what you have instead of what you do not
Spend time in nature
Listen to and follow your inner guidance
Say no to things that go against your beliefs

As a result, there are many ways for you to refuel your energy levels to help support you in living a vibrant life. If you want help learning to figure out ‘what fills you up?’, consider seeking council.

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20 June

What Is Validation?

Posted by Collaborative Counseling

Validation is when you listen to what another person is saying to you and reflect it back to them that you understand how they are feeling. An important thing to remember is validating is NOT necessarily agreeing with the other person. It also doesn’t mean you like what the other person is saying, doing or believing. You are simply restating back to the person what you hear them saying.

Why should we validate others?

There are many benefits to validating people, including it:

Shows you are listening
Lets people know that you care
Proves you understand the other person’s point of view
Is nonjudgmental
Improves communication and openness
Decreases conflict
Establishes trust

How do I validate others?

Validation involves listening to what the person is saying, stating back what you hear them saying to you and then responding to the person’s needs at that time.

For example, when talking to someone nod and make small gestures to show you are listening (e.g. say mmhmm, I see, huh). Then restate what you hear the person saying (e.g. “That really hurt your feelings”, “You didn’t like that”, “That pisses you off!” or “You’re angry!”). Respond by asking what the person needs, they may want space or a hug or to just vent a bit more while you listen.

Be mindful and avoid judging what the other person is saying. Show tolerance for the other person by working to recognize that their reaction makes sense considering his/her life situation, experiences and history even if you do not necessarily agree with that person.

What does it mean to be invalidating?

We invalidate people’s feelings when we minimize or disregard their experience. Some common examples: “Oh, you’ll get over it”, “You don’t need those friends anyway”, “It’s not that big a deal” or “You should…”.

What are the negative impacts of being invalidating?

There are many negative outcomes from not validating others’, including it:

Shows you aren’t listening
Says you don’t care or believe the other person
Shows you don’t understand the person
Is judgmental
Decreases openness and communication
Increases conflict
Decreases trust

The next time you are talking to your child, friend, lover, spouse or co-worker consider trying to just listen, reflect back what you hear and ask what the person needs in the moment. You may find it helps the person and also improves your relationship!!

Validation is a strong component of DBT, to learn more visit: https://www.collaborativemn.com/counseling-services/dialectical-behavior-therapy-DBT

Caring, Communication Help, Empathy, Friendship, How to be a good friend, how to be a good parent, how to show you care, Kindness, Listening, parenting, Positivity, Validation

12 June

Speak the truth without blame or judgement

Posted by Collaborative Counseling

Do you find it hard to speak the truth or to not blame others? Will you sometimes speak the truth but it comes out harsh and critical? Have you struggled to communicate difficult truths or complaints? Do you avoid situations you believe may involve conflict?

Many people find themselves struggling to find ways to speak the truth with kindness. Often problems and conflicts only become worse when we avoid facing them. Issues also can become worse if we confront issues or concerns in a harsh or accusing way. If people make it personal with blame and judgment, it doesn’t help and it creates more barriers.

How do I speak my truth?

The best way to confront difficult truths is to be clear, kind and honest. Here are some questions to help you in considering how to speak your truths:

Ask yourself, “What is my truth?”
How can I speak this truth without blame or judgment?
What is at the heart of this concern? Why is this important to me?
What is my request? (This is critical, you must be clear on what you are asking for and how you want things to be different. Feedback without clear requests often do not lead to future change.)
How can I deliver this message with love?

It is important to remember honesty and truth are NOT about bludgeoning someone with the truth. Try to believe the best in the person you need to communicate the difficult truth to and remember most breakdowns are not intentional.

When people start telling the truth to each other, things are illuminated, and it creates a sense of openness. So open up your own heart and begin to speak your truth without blame and without judgment.

We challenge you to practice asking yourself the questions above before delivering difficult truths. You will find yourself having better relationships with others and you will feel lighter, freer and happier!

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31 March

Stress and Relaxation

Posted by Collaborative Counseling

Stress and Relaxation is a balancing act for sure. Because everyone gets overwhelmed and stressed sometimes. A lot of people struggle to manage stress in life. It is important to have balance in your life, so here are some ideas to consider trying to help reduce your stress by taking the time to relax.

Here are 10 easy ways to practice relaxation:

Read a book or magazine. Reading can help take us out of our present worries and into a new frame of mind.
Any type of exercise can help to burn of stress – run, walk, take a yoga class or lift weights.
Take a moment to just focus on your breath. Try to breathe in counting your inhale and breathe out counting the exhale. Try to exhale for twice as long as you breathe in. For example, breathe in, two three; breathe out, two, three, four, five, six.
Hang out with a friend.
Have a cup of tea or go out for your favorite coffee drink. Then enjoy drinking it while being in the moment.
Do whatever you may be doing one-mindfully. One mindfully is when you focus all of your attention on whatever it is you are doing, if your mind wanders, you notice the thought and then go back to whatever you were focusing on. You can do this while doing homework, while cleaning, while doing the dishes or while moving your body.
Do a craft or hobby that you enjoy. Whatever you enjoy – take time to do what you love most!
Take a nap. You may be amazed what taking a 15-20 minutes snooze can do to your mood.
Take a bath or hot shower. Try doing it one mindfully (see #6).
Change your mindset. Focus on thinking about all of the good things in your life. If you feel grouchy, take time to make a list of all the good in your life.

mindfulness, reduce stress, Self Care, take time for yourself, time to relax

09 March

What unique gift or talent do you bring to the world?

Posted by Collaborative Counseling

Deep within us all exist unique gifts or talents needed by the world around us. Often we can get stuck in patterns of negativity, unhealthy relationships, a bad job or other things that take away from our talents. Sometimes we may not even know we have lost sight of our talents or maybe they have never been discovered…

Often we have found that when people take time to reflect upon their values and beliefs they are more likely to discover some unique talents about themselves. Here are some questions that could help you begin to explore your values and beliefs:

Have you asked yourself?

What are you energized by?
Do you know your personal strengths? (One good tool to help you uncover your strengths is StrengthsFinder 2.0)
What is the most important to you in life? What are the top 10 things? How about the top 5? Or the number one most important thing?
Are there things that that you enjoy doing at your current job? What don’t you enjoy?
If you could do anything with your life, what would you do? What would be fulfilling about that?
Is anything else missing from your life?

While, you may find yourself wondering “what are my talents?” or “I don’t have anything unique to offer the world”, these exist within all of us. Your talent may be your ability to observe beauty around you or it may be your ability to be a good listener to others. Any talent or skill has a way to make the world a better place. Therefore, I encourage you to challenge those thoughts and seek ways to begin uncovering your uniqueness.

In addition, sometimes a person’s values and beliefs are strongly tied to their unique gifts and talents. If you are still struggling to uncover your unique talent, seek a professional counselor or coach to help you to reveal your inner beauty.

As a result, in uncovering your unique talents, you can become able to make choices that will allow you to share your full potential while, making the world a brighter place.

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10 February

Teen Stress

Posted by Collaborative Counseling

The teen years involve a lot of stress. Some studies have indicated that teen stress is on the rise, yet many of the stressors of teens are the same as those faced by teens throughout the yesteryears. Furthermore, counseling for teen stress can help them to work on the many struggles particular to being an adolescent.

The teen years involve many unique challenges from other phases of life. Let us count the ways teen stress exists:

First, most teens want to fit in. An important phase of the teen years is finding a sense of acceptance. Teens seek a sense of this through friends, family and community culture. This is easy for some and very difficult for others and the social hierarchy is always at the forefront of teens attention.
Second, hormones are on the rise! Teen years involve many changes biologically which for some happen right on time, for others too slow and for others far too fast.
Also, brain development is rapid. In the teen years the frontal lobe begins to develop. Thus allowing teens to plan more and sometimes making them feel they know it all!

In addition, peer pressure kicks in to full gear. Teens begin to feel more pressures to fit in to social expectations, to take risks and to try new things, some of which include alcohol, drugs and sexual behaviors.
Last, teens are grappling with questions like, “What are you going to do with your life?” Increasingly teens are feeling the pressure to figure out what they will be “when I grow up”.

As a result of our society, there are many competing demands from parents, peers, teachers, employers, coaches and more. The goal of the teen years is to develop positive ways. It is also to cope with the stress of the increasing demands of life. As parents it is important to be a listening ear for your child. You want to pay attention to their friends and life dramas. Ultimately to foster a sense that your child has the ability to make positive choices for themselves.

Since teen stress will always exist, it’s important we learn to support our children through these years. To learn more about how to support your teen in developing the skills to navigate the teen years visit our website here.

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28 December

What is play therapy? Learn more here!

Posted by Collaborative Counseling

What is play therapy? Play therapy is an interactive form of counseling. It that allows children to express themselves. Children express their thoughts, feelings and struggles through play. Adults and teens are often able to understand and express themselves through talk therapy. Children, on the other hand, often have not yet developed the skills to process difficult situations and feelings through traditional talk therapy.

In therapy children are allowed the freedom to express themselves in a therapeutic setting. Play therapy is nonjudgmental and safe. Often children will act out whatever is bothering them through metaphors within their play. Play therapy may involve individual sessions with just the child. It may also include other family members (siblings, parents, etc…). Family therapy is frequently a part of therapy with children as well.

Also, play therapy can include activities such as art, playing board games or playing with dolls. Therapists use the normal ways children play to help them process feelings.

In addition, this therapy also involves a component that includes parents. Parents often can help the child to develop better emotion regulation, positive self esteem and much more. The involvement of parents in a child’s therapy will vary depending upon the presenting concern but may include the following:

Parenting skills sessions
Family therapy
Interaction therapy to improve the parent-child relationship
Homework for parents to help the child with as they develop new skills.

For more information about play therapy services in your area, check out: https://www.collaborativemn.com/counseling-services/play-therapy

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